Can I get one grande Perspective to go please?

So much has happened since my last blog that I'm not sure where to start....

There is good news and bad news. Tears and joy.

A week and a half ago two of our leaders for the trip asked to meet with me. The week before this had been crazy. I was so stressed and overwhelmed with school, Africa stuff, friend situations, work stuff. When they asked to meet my initial response was that I don't have time tonight, because honestly I didn't have time. I ended up having to leave work early so I could meet with them. We met and they asked me to seriously consider whether this trip was for me. They didn't feel like I had the time and effort to put into as. Or I did not have as much as they needed from me. They said that being a senior in college and trying work was a noble thing to be doing and that they wouldn't look down on me if I stepped off the team. They were concerned my heart wasn't in this trip as it should be, and that they needed me 100% in it. So I needed to make a decision and commit within before we left the coffee shop that night.

I was not in any position to be making a decision on the spot. I was very stressed and overwhelmed from everything that had been going on and to add this onto top was the straw the broke the camels back. I just sat there stunned and shocked because this was the last thing I was expecting them to talk with me about. The three of us sat there in silence for a few minutes because I shocked and they were done talking. One of my leaders asked if they could pray with me regarding my decision, of course I agreed because I needed as much prayer as I could get at that moment in time. After they prayed with me, they said that I probably needed to think about this, so I could call them by 9pm that night with my decision.

I walked out of the coffee shop in a daze, I couldn't believe they were asking me to step off the team! For any of you who know me, you know I'm not emotional. I don't cry. People die, and I don't cry. As soon as I reached my car, I started bawling. I have been working so hard towards this and to just give it up... After crying and thinking for awhile I called my mom and some of my close friends to ask for their advice.

I felt like my world was a snowglobe and God had just shaken it really hard. Not just with my Africa trip, but everything that had been going on that week. The Africa stuff was the last thing I could handle. I had been working so hard towards this trip with preparation and fundraising, and was I just supposed to walk away now?

After much prayer, thinking, and consulting with those I look up to, I decided this trip is for me. I would be willing to fail all my classes this semester to go on this trip (and that is a HUGE sacrifice for me). It means so much to me.

I really really hate times in my life like this. Where it takes God shaking up my world like a snowglobe for me to realize that my perspective is off. I was looking at things through my eyes not Gods. I was relying on my strength not His. As much as I hate times like these, they are necessary. So yes, I am still going to Africa, and am more excited than ever about it.

So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abanonded. In awe, of the One who gave it all. And I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered. All I am, is Yours.

I love that song.

Moving on.....

We had another team meeting last week where we started working with puppets. I now know that there was a reason I never got into puppeteering.... It is so much hard than it looks! Pray for my team that we get the whole moving the puppet, talking, and holding our hands above our heads at that same time. We might have to start working out just to have the muscle strength! :-)

"I have a ticket, I have ticket. I have a ticket, hey hey hey hey" (Name that movie! Except it's with a pickle)
I have a plane ticket with my name on it! And the cost of our trip was reduced to $2500! Which is a huge blessing, because the $750 that we were to receive from fundraising, isn't likely to happen!

Ok, enough of my novel. See the comment button below? Leave me a comment so that I know I'm not just writing this and sending it into the great unknown of the internet!

How marvelous, how wonderful, is my Savior's love for me!